Tag Archives: Marriage

Of Career, Future and Marriage

27 Mar

I’m Home after a long long time. I always get this feeling that I’m into a time machine traveling at least 15 years back whenever I come home. One of the reasons is that, the place that is my hometown is small town nearby Amravati in Maharashtra, called Akola.

 

Don’t get me wrong. I love it from the bottom of my heart. But life as I’ve known it since the last one and a half year working in Pune and Mumbai, completely shifts gears whenever I am in Akola. It’s like sitting in a time capsule. I always have this awkward feeling of weightlessness and I feel like I’m not really in the place that I have lived for 22 years of my life. It’s like I’m floating in some dreamy world where I just have to sit and watch.

 

Ok, I know a lot may of you (d teeny weeny number 😉 who read dis) might think I’m having some kinda psychological problem. But no that’s not it. Ok lemme explain. I met two of my very good friends today who within the span of 8 months have both gotten married. Meeting them today was like meeting two strangers. Why? Well for starters, they have completely given up on whatever traces of a career that they had and given in to all the practices of their “Sasural ke reeti rivaaj”. One of them even has to take a ghoonghat at all points in time, at her place. That means she has to invariably wear a sari all the time. Not that I am against any customs followed in any community, but it just seems so normal for her to follow everything that her husband or parents in-law tell her, without even thinking twice. It kinda makes my head spin. Of course I’m happy for both of them, but…….

 

One more reason why I’m feeling weird is because the kind of people that I have been interacting with for the past 19 months is completely opposite to the people that I met today. Everyone is so career oriented. We talk about stuff ranging from CAT, GMAT, MBA, International MBA, onsite opportunities, Clients, Coding, Latest technologies, future, buying a house, car loans, bank balance…. Phew. Marriage is almost never on the cards. Yes most of these people also come from small towns but somewhere we have all carved a niche for ourselves, our own special place under d sun, a place which is very far from the limits of our small hometowns.

 

But then sitting there I also realized that these people are not unhappy, because even they have their special place, and think that this was what they were born to do. Maybe, maybe, even I want that at some level. Yes I’m a girl, and we dream about perfect weddings, the perfect dress, but most importantly the perfect GUY. And yes I want to be successful, yes I want to earn money, yes I want a nice house, a car a great job, but isn’t all this useless if I do not have anyone to share it with.

 

So let’s see what’s in store for me……. Feeling sleepy now……. YAWN!!!!!!!! J

 

P.S: All my relatives and especially Mom if u r reading this, don’t get too surprised or excited 😉

Dilemma

15 Oct

“You have to make a choice priya….. today, here now!!!!”, he said. She was trying to fight back her tears, for it might be a zillion times that he had told her…. I just hate it when you cry,

It’s like all you girls have this last and final and the most lethal weapon to have your way in all arguments”.

How she hated it that this is what he thought about the way she expressed her sadness… it was so unfair.

 

And it was all coming back to her in the middle of her dilemma… how it had all started.

‘It’s so “filmy” and romantic’ was what her friends had said to her when they had come to know about this tall dark handsome guy that she had fallen in love with.

It was her cousin sister’s wedding reception and he was one of the groom’s friends.

All her friends had told her she was looking stunning in her red and black saari, and he spoilt it.

“Cant you see where you’re going, you spoilt my saari, are you out of your mind…..” and she went on and on not even once looking up from all the mess that the ice cream had created on the garment, cursing him under her breath and worrying what her mom will say about this, until the moment he spoke, “I’m extremely sorry, I didn’t mean to spoil your saari, and to be honest I wasn’t really paying attention to where I was going. You see all my attention was on a really ho….. ahem beautiful girl standing in that corner.”

Although she knew she shouldn’t have but she did turn around to see what girl he was talking about, and the moment she did she felt extremely stupid.

Was this guy a nut or just another typical guy trying to flirt with all the girls possible in one night? But one thing was for sure. He was HANDSOME!!!!!.

‘Oh stop thinking about all that, priya’ a voice from somewhere told her, and she just turned around without acknowledging his presence and went away.

 

For the rest of the evening she somehow couldn’t help noticing him for reasons she herself didn’t know, and each time she looked at him, she saw him looking at her from d corner of his eye. How she hated herself to be indulged in such an activity, but then even girls were allowed to flirt once in a while weren’t they? If guys could do it 24 X 7 why couldn’t she???  after all he was good looking.

His name was Raj she found that out from her friends, but she hoped she would never see him again… or was it the other way round????

 

Perhaps destiny had some different plans for them. Raj couldn’t stop thinking about her from the moment he had seen that pretty face and those beautiful brown eyes. Finding her phone number was not such a difficult thing, but calling her was. What would he say to her, ‘Hi Priya this is Raj, I’m the stupid guy who spilled ice cream on you that evening of your sister’s wedding’ or ‘Hey I’m calling to ask whether all the stains have been removed from you dress’….. ahhhh that was insane.

But finally he mustered enough courage to call her and thankfully she picked up on the third ring, he immediately recognized that sweey voice.

“Hi Priya, this is Raj, I guess you don’t quiet remember me???”

“As a matter of fact I do, you r d one who made my evening by spilling ice cream all over me isn’t it???”

“Ohh, well… yes… I’m the one and I’m really…….” And she interrupted before he could finish,

“So what have you called for now???” Wow she was playing hard to get, she knew exactly why he had called, and she was happy about it in a way.

“I was wondering if you would like to have a cup of coffee with me if you are free, so that I can make up for my stupid mistake that day”

“What makes you think I will accept an invitation for coffee from a stranger, who’s known to lose his attention once he spots a good looking female???”

“Well…. one thing is for sure, I wont spill it this time, so that should make you accept my invitation…”

She laughed despite thinking it was a rather silly joke. He sounded so good on the phone.

‘There you go again Priya’, that voice again.

“Ok I’m free today, so where do you want to go??” she heard herself saying.

“How about CCD at 5pm, should I pick you up?”

“I can take a rik, see you at 5, don’t be late.. Bye”

“Bye”

How did he know where she lived??? She thought after hanging up.

‘Oh! Whatever…. What harm can one coffee cause?’

 

But the truth was they were almost inseparable after that first coffee date.

He thought she was intelligent, smart, and level headed. She thought he was witty, charming, and caring. How he loved the way her eyes sparkled when she laughed.

Looking at both of them one could say cupid had done his job well.

 

It was 3 months after they had met that they had their first fight. It was such a petty issue, she didn’t even remember the real reason. It was just another disagreement they had about some interesting topic they were discussing about and it had turned into a messy fight. They promised never to fight with each other again.

 

But as they say promises are meant to be broken, this one was no exception. Gradually the fights became more frequent. The very things that they had found interesting in each other had now turned into irritating habits, and there was no day which would pass by without them arguing over something.

 

She was surprised as to how their relationship could change so much in such a short period of time. His friends told him that this is what happens to every relationship after a few months. He didn’t listen to them, and thought everything will be alright eventually, so he immediately called her, to let her know how much he loved her and wanted to make things right. But her phone was giving a busy signal.

‘She must be talking to someone’, he thought. He tried again after 15 minutes, busy again.

‘Who is she talking to for so long? Must be her mother.’

But when he tried the third time and the phone was still busy, he started to get impatient and angry. Finally when the phone connected he had lost his temper, ‘Who the hell were you talking to for so long Priya?’

‘Why are you getting so angry, I was talking to Vineet’

“For so long? What was so important?”

“Cant I talk to my best friend once in a while? What’s the matter Raj, did you want to talk to me about anything important?”

“Oh no no what would be so important, and anyways you don’t have time for me do you?

Why don’t you go and talk to Vineet”, and he hung up.

She got so confused, why did he have to get so angry, he knew Vineet was her childhood friend. She just didn’t understand why he was behaving so weirdly from the last few weeks.

 

From the moment he had hung up he realized he had gone too far. Probably she was crying. ‘Oh no!! What do I do now? I guess I’ll just call her and say sorry’, and he did although half heartedly. But there were numerous questions going through his head.

‘Why was she talking to Vineet for so long?’

‘What must she be talking about?’

Instead of asking her all this he just made his own judgments about her loyalty.

 

Vineet and Priya were friends since the time they were 5. Whenever she needed some advice she would turn to Vineet to help her out. Since she was so depressed about the way her relationship was going with Raj it only seemed obvious to call Vineet and ask him for advice. What was wrong with that, did Raj doubt her loyalty?

 

With time this issue became worse than it should have. He had started to think she didn’t love him anymore, and that was making her extremely sad, and that in turn gave rise to more interaction between her and Vineet, which Raj anyways didn’t like. It was a vicious circle and there was no way out.

 

Finally on the 7th of April, 5 months after their first encounter he could not take it anymore, and told her “You have to make a choice Priya…. It’s either me or him”.

“How can I choose between love and friendship Raj ? This is not fair.”

“I don’t care Priya, I love you and I can’t tolerate you talking or even looking at someone else”.

That was the moment she realized that Raj was not the right person for her. People who are in love never ask for anything and never ever put any conditions on their loved ones.

If he couldn’t trust her, there was no point in taking the relationship any further.

 

“Its all about trust Raj” was all she said before she got up and left, with tears streaming down her cheeks. It was over and for good.

 

“Its all about trust”, the words still keep ringing in his ears after 20 years, it was as if all this had happened yesterday. Only if he had trusted her she would be his wife now, but a year after their last meeting he came to know that she got married to a very rich businessman’s son.

 

How he wished he could relive all that again and change it, but time tide and trust wait for no one, and it all about trust…………….