Archive | May, 2009

I can’t think of a Title!!!

27 May

I’m Frustrated frustrated frustrated….. Why??????

Coz nothing, absolutely nothings seems to be going right at this point in time.

I tried like hell to get into a B-school, but didn’t work out. Its not like I wanted IIM A,B,C and d likes, just a normal, decent B-school, but nope, no luck there.

I absolutely, positively hate my job (Ok i know everybody does) and don’t even get me started on why I hate it. All you IT ppl will know what happens after almost two years of slogging and then being kicked right, left and centre like a football between projects, managers, and team mates, not to mention Locations.

My mind is so cluttered with negativity i feel like running away this instant without informing anyone and ya without my cell phone (Ah!! Pure bliss that would be). But no cant do that.

My leaves didn’t get approved for the month of June. I so badly wanted to go home. I haven’t been home after diwali ( Well actually i have for a weekend, but two days at home does not count) and I have accumulated more than 20 leaves, very miraculously i must say, and i just want to use half of them,…… but no cant do that too……. aaaargggghhhhhh….

My mom is vacationing with all her kitty party friends in Mahabaleshwar as i speak and i feel like getting up packing some clothes and get into the next bus to Mahabaleshwar……..

So right now my mind has just one process running…….. Should I? Shouldn’t I? Should I? Shouldn’t i????

So someone puh-lease help me take a decision…….

 

P.S: this is the first time i am writing so openly about my life and if some of you find it absolutely disgusting, then please please ignore it, but don’t stop visiting my blog……. this is just an outburst of emotions which required to come out somewhere……..

Temptation

22 May

There it was the little white box.

All she had to do was pick it up, take the thing it contained and swallow it. It seemed like an easy task, but doing it would mean giving up on a lot of promises.

She couldn’t let her family down, or could she??

Just one quick movement and it would all be over. The pain, the longing to attain nirvana.

She didn’t remember how long it had been since she had that weightless feeling. A feeling which only she could understand. A feeling which transported her into a completely different world.

A world where there were no worries, no responsibilities, no job, no nosy boss who took away all the credit.

How she craved for that wonderful sense of freedom.

Just once more and I’ll never touch the box again, she promised herself.

She picked up the box in haste and dropped it on the floor. All the contents got scattered on the floor.

She sat there feeling numb watching the floor decorated with that thing, that thing she wanted so badly.

What would her husband say? He would be so dissapointed in her, so depressed that she couldn’t be true to her words.

But then maybe later, someday he would understand her pain, her restlessness.

What about her children? They would be let down too. They would think their mommy wasn’t strong enough to keep her promises.

Her parents would be ashamed of their daughter, not to mention her in-laws.

This was ridiculous; no one would come to know. She would have it and dispose off the evidence. No one would suspect a thing.

Yes she decided she would flush away all the leftovers before anyone got home.

She exhaled, her hands trembling, her heart pounding, sweat trickling down her back, and her body shaking in anticipation of the feeling that would follow.

She picked up the box from the ground, gathered all the stuff scattered and said to herself,

“To hell with the diet!!!!!”

And ate the big chunk of chocolate.

Love Is

17 May

I came across this beautiful thought in the movie A Walk To Remember. I don’t think any words are really required, so I’ll just leave you with this…..

Love is always patient and kind
It is never jealous
 

Love is never boastful nor concealed
 

It is never rude or selfish,
It does not take offence and is not resentful

 
Love takes no pleasures in other peoples sins
But delights in the truth
 

It is always ready to excuse, to trust, to hope
And to endure whatever comes

Of Novels and Movies

16 May

 I am an avid reader of fiction novels. (Nothing amazing about that I know) Its like I cant sleep without reading something, and my Mom is the one to be completely blamed for this 😉 . Well actually I’m thankful to her, coz she was the one to introduce me to this wonderful and enchanting world of books. These books transport you to a world which is hitherto unknown to you, and I have always marveled at the skill that writers have to describe each and every thing in a book with such great detail that you can actually feel and see it.

 But I have always had a slight grudge against people who make movies out of novels. I mean it is always so convenient, pick up a novel, give the writer loads of money and make a movie out of it. Just saves the producer all the work that goes into actually thinking about the story, writing a script etc. It’s all virtually served in a platter in the form of a novel.

 The most recent transition I’ve seen of a novel to a movie as Twilight. I generally don’t read love stories for the simple fact that they are unbelievably surreal. But Twilight was different, although being a vampire story, I could still connect with the character of Bella Swan. Seeing the movie was like a slap on the face of my imagination. None of the characters could do justice to what Stephanie Meyer has portrayed them to be, especially the main characters Bella and Edward Cullen. The book is written in first person from Bella’s perspective, and the movie has cut out so many vital aspects of Bella’s emotions that a person who has not read the book would find it absolutely boring.

 Another disappointment was The Da Vinci Code. Yes lots of people appreciated the movie, but I’m sure very few of them would have read the book. Because the book is much more fast paced than the movie, and they had to actually skip important parts from the book, so as to cram it in 2 to 3 hours. Also Tom Hanks could not be imagined as Robert Langdon, as is the opinion of Aditi my very good friend.

 The only movie that did any amount of justice to its book was Godfather, and people who have read the book and seen the movie would be nodding in approval right now 😉

 So I just feel making movies out of novels should be banned or something, even in India ( remember Hello aka One night at the Call center, and ya 3 Idiots on Five point someone, I’m so not looking forward to it 😉  )

 What do ya think ppl?????

Happy Birthday Pappa

15 May

It’s my papa’s birthday today and I have been pondering for days about what to gift him. The fact is no gift is good enough for dad. Flowers die, cards and gifts are forgotten, I already gave him a mobile last year. So now what? I don’t think there is anything in the world which can convey what dad means to me. Shirts, mobiles, tie’s none of these can carry the emotions and the gratitude I feel for my daddy.

 So I decided no gifts this year, but just a small attempt at writing a poem for Pappa. Hope it turns out well. This one’s for you pappa……

 Daddy’s Girl

 When I was little, you made me sit next to you,
I would playfully put shaving foam all over your shirt,
You never complained, but joined in the fun.

 You taught me how to be brave and face the pain,
When I fell down,, you taught me how to get up
and ride the bike again.

 You never said I had to come first in class,
Coz it didn’t matter
as long as I passed.

I fell sick the moment you went for business for some days,
The fever vanished,
as soon as I saw your smiling face.

You taught me all about cricket,
You taught me the difference between leg stump and off stump,
You taught me to be optimistic, till the last ball.

You taught me how to be honest in everything I do,
That has helped me be successful in what I do.

You taught me to be independent,
You let me fly to heights I wanted,
You never asked for anything in return.

 You taught me to be strong always whenever a problem arose,
You taught me to be confident,
You taught me how to face the world.

But somewhere deep down I know,
I will never be grown up enough for you,
Coz I’ll always remain Daddy’s little Girl……

 I love you Pappa

 Happy Birthday……..

P.S: It does not rhyme I know, but I hope its a good start for a first timer….. 🙂

The Plan …. Part 3 (Post No. 5)

13 May

“Oh! Troubled spirit, come enlighten us …………………….”

 “Oh! Troubled spirit…………………………..”

 “Oh! OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!! RICKY!!!!!!!!!” Max screamed on the top of his voice.

 “It’s here its here, I can see it” Max was shaking uncontrollably now, as a form started appearing in the bright light.

 “Oh! We’ve awakened him Max!!!! We’ve done it” Rick was trying hard to appear unruffled.

 “It’s c…. coming c… cc… closer Rick”

 They both were trembling now as the form stared to grow larger. It was taking shape of a man, a large man. He had a long beard, and looked like he was floating. They couldn’t see the legs.

 “He doesn’t have legs Rick; look he doesn’t have legs its flying!!!!!!!!!!! I’m getting outta here……. HELPPPPP!!!!!!!!!”

 “Max wait for me……. We have to get our stuff”, he started to pick up the stuff.

 ———————————————————————————————————-

Ricky came and sat next to Max during lunch the other day. Not a word was exchanged for a long time.

 “I told you I didn’t wanna go to that creepy place. You are suck a jerk Rick” Max blurted.

 “I’m sorry Max, even I was as scared as you.”

 “But look at the brighter side…..” Ricky continued trying to reason with Max.“We were pretty close to talking to the sprit eh?” he nudged Max

 Max’s face turned scarlet with anger. “Not a word about yesterday; get that Rick”

 Ricky hated the fact that they ran out of there like a bunch of squirrels. They should have waited and talked to the spirit. He didn’t like to chicken out of an exciting thing like this. He couldn’t resist the challenge.

 “Hey Max” he said after a long pause.

“Could we just go there, just for the last time?”

 “I’m not putting so much as a toe there Rick, you might as well go alone if you please. Keep me out of this alright”

 “C’mon just one last time please. I promise I’ll never even talk about it again” pleaded Ricky.

 “I hate it when you make that puppy like face Rick, I can’t say no to it, and you know it, you are such a …………”

 “I know I know……. So you’re in for tonight right?” Ricky asked with a big smirk on his face.

 “Yeah” Sighed Max. “Like I have a choice”

 “Great, so see you at 00:00 hrs”

 “Whatever”, Max walked away to his class.

 ——————————————————————————————————————–

He woke up reluctantly at 11:25 pm and jumped out of his window. He would take two flashlights today. He didn’t want to take any chances tonight. If something went wrong he also had his mom’s knife which she kept under her pillow.

He reached Ricky’s house a bit too late and he was already on his bike waiting.

 “Look we both take the lake road okay. We are in this together” Max ordered

 “Alright. Gosh your face is already white Max. We haven’t even reached there” Rick teased.

 “Get on with it dude or I’m going home” Max was already bored.

—————————————————————————————————————–

 They were hurriedly setting up their stuff again. Max was looking around both flashlights in hand.

Ricky was giggling under his breath.

 “What is it? Why are you giggling?”

 “You actually bought two flashlights” he was laughing now

 “Shut up Rick” he was furious now.

 “Let’s start ok”

 “I’m gonna keep the flashlight on Ok”

 “Oh troubled spirit…….. Talk to us…………. Oh! Troubled spirit we are with you…..”

 Ricky opened his eyes suddenly.

 “Max ….”

 “Oh troubled……..with you…..”

 “MAX!! I think I heard something did you??”

 “No I didn’t, what is it?” Max opened his eyes too

The flashlight went off again.

 “Oh! Shit!!!”

 Ricky took his flashlight, but couldn’t get it switched on.

 “None of them are working Max!!!!!”

 Just then they saw the bright light. It somehow seemed brighter today. They both stared at it speechless; Max because of the fright and Ricky because he was amazed that what he saw yesterday was actually real.

 The shadowy form started appearing again. It was moving with a very fast pace today.

 “Rick he’s coming at us……….” Max stated trembling more horribly.

 The fog started growing thicker. Although Ricky was scared he still managed to keep his cool. He started chanting again.

 “Wh…. Who are you” Rick said suddenly, wanting his voice to appear stern.

 The man or spirit whatever it was, was coming closer.

 “Who are you? Will you talk to us?” Rick tried again

 Just then they heard a loud shriek, and the ground near the tombstone started shaking. Or was it their imagination.

 No the ground was shaking.

 “OH MY GOD RICKY……. WHATS THAT!!!!!!?????” screamed Max.

 A hand started emerging from the ground just when there was another loud shriek………

 Both of them fainted at the same time…………………….

———————————————————————————————————————–

 “Rick, Rick?? Can you hear me?” Someone was calling his name from the distance.

 “Hey man wake up” another different voice this time.

 “Hey look at his face its all white” one more voice and then muffled laughter.

 He opened his eyes to see a lot of people looking at him. Most of them were giggling. Max was also there.

 “Where’s the ghost? Where am I??” Rick was still trembling.

 All of them laughed at once.

 “I told you Mike didn’t I? Now give me my money” Max said with a big grin on his face.

 “What’s going on?” Rick demanded.

  “Aww, nothing poor chap. You see Mike and I had a bet that I could scare you easily.So that’s why we purposefully made Dave here tell you the fake tale about the ghost in the cemetery and you as usual took it as a challenge and I played along” Max was trying hard not to laugh now

 “YOU ARE SUCH A…………… MAX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’M GONNA KILL YOU I SWEAR” Rick got up and ran behind Max.

 An unwanted spectator watched from behind a tree as the boys chatted and laughed their way home, form the cemetery.

 

 

Might be continued………………. 😉

The Plan contd…(Post no. 4)

12 May

“Wa……. What is it Max!!!????” Rick turned around.

 “Ha hahahahaha……… I gotcha”

 “You are a dead man…… I’m telling you…… this is not funny Max” Rick’s face was flushed red, with the anger or embarrassment Max couldn’t tell.

 “Oh! My God you should have looked at your face Rick” Max couldn’t even speak. “Ha ha …… Hey I’m Mr. Rick I’m scared of nothing” he was making faces imitating Rick now.

 “Hey look you wanna come in or just stand here laughing coz I’m going in……. Max??MAX!!!”

 “Yeah yeah I’m coming” Max said still trying to control himself from giggling.

——————————————————————————————— 

The cemetery was cold, the earth was damp, and the only noise they could hear was the crickets.

 “Hey do you know which way is the grave we are looking for?” asked Max

 “Yes I know it, jut follow me ok…… and why are you whispering?” asked Rick, his face still red from the anger.Max would tell this to anyone who wanted to listen at school tomorrow.

“Damn!” he cursed under his breath, a bit too loudly.

 “What what??? Did u see anything?” Max was trembling

 “Nothing …. It’s nothing Ok” he was happy Max was his usual scared of everything self again, and he had the upper hand. It was very seldom that he let others take any kind of advantage over him. He hated that.

 “Ok I see it, there it is…… Mr. Matthew Rodriguez, March 1964- Feb 2009” Rick was pointing his flashlight on the tombstone.

 “You have the newspaper Max, don’t you??”

 “Yes I have it…… it’s right here…… A 45 year old attorney Mr. Matthew Rodriguez was fund dead in his house on 5th Park Avenue Memphis on 7th Feb 2009. The local police say it was a case of burglary gone sore, and are still investigating. Although the neighbors who were questioned by our correspondents say they never heard any noises on that night, and are sure there was no break-in in the house…….”

 “Here’s the interesting part” continued Max.

 “There was also no sign of any struggle as all the furniture was found intact….. Are the police trying to hush up the matter? This is the third case of such a mysterious death in this neighborhood. Is there a serial killer on the lose? Such are the questions the people are asking.”

“Hmmm…. So first it was big old Al, then it was Martha and now it’s Matt….. The funny thing is all of these people were loners” Ricky said with an investigative look on his face

 “Oh! That’s so smart Rick” Max said sarcastically hitting him on his head. “I’m sure the police must have figured that out way before you dude. Now do you wanna find out what the police don’t know or not. I’m freezing out here, let’s get this over with”

 “Ok, lets take out all our stuff and look this is the arrangement we gotta do” Ricky said flipping through the pages of a half torn book with yellowed pages and stopping at a page with a hexagonal arrangement of some sort.

“No mistakes alright”

Max started to arrange everything according to the drawing. First the candles, then the flowers and the paper with letters and numbers written on it.

“Let’s light the candles” Ricky said

“Are you sure Rick I’m starting to get a bit freaked out now” Max said looking around in the darkness. The only light was coming from the two flashlights. He took his flashlight and turned it around himself just to be sure no one was lurking in the dark. Just as Ricky was about to light the candles; Max’s flashlight went off.

“Hey why did you turn it off?”

“I didn’t, it went off on its own” Max said his voice cracking. He was desperately trying to switch it on.

“I just changed the batteries this morning; I don’t know what’s wrong??” He was banging the flashlight against the palm of his hand now. “Let’s get outta here Rick.”

“Oh! C’mon Max, it’s just a flashlight, these things happen man. Let’s start ok, I’ve lighted all the candles and I have to switch off my flashlight too”

“No no don’t do that” squealed Max

“Hey look its written in the book okay, no lights except for the candles. Don’t be a cry baby now Max”

 He did not like this at all. He wanted to go home and sleep in his bed. Why did he agree to this crap?

 They held hands, closed their eyes and started chanting the verse written in the book.

 “Oh troubled spirit, come enlighten us, we are with you, talk to us…….. Oh! Troubled spirit….”

 This went on for a couple of minutes, and max opened one of his eyes, just when Ricky did. He immediately smacked Max’s hand hard.

 “You are not supposed to open your eyes stupid”

 “Hey that’s not fair you opened yours too” protested Max

They continued to chant. Their voices were getting louder, and the wind was getting colder.

 A faint white light was starting to appear in the distance, and was steadily growing brighter.

 

 

 To be continued……. 🙂